Everyone Is Doing The Best They Can
Everyone is doing the best they can.
When you say this to people, they either strongly agree or strongly disagree. It's one of those sentences that seems to dived people and, I've found, often annoy them.
I really believe that everyone is doing their very best, given their life, experiences, circumstances, knowledge and path they're on. I've also found it quite liberating to accept that I don't know best, need to know best or need to judge people and how they're behaving.
It's very easy from the outside to look in on how people are behaving and acting and judge them, believing that you wouldn't do the same in their situation or that they could be doing better but ultimately, we're not in their shoes and do not know who we'd behave. No one will ever be in our exact situation, with our exact past and path and we will never be in anyone else's. This helps to remove the idea that there is one way that people "should" or "shouldn't" deal with situations.
If you were to accept that everyone is doing the best they can, what does this open up in your life? For instance, if you were to accept that your sister, will never be able to help you care for your parents the way you believe she should, what does this mean? Does it mean you now decide how best to care for them alone? Does it mean you learn to have a relationship with your sister that isn't tainted by the ongoing argument over your parents care?
Often, when we're stuck in a place of anger over how someone is behaving because we don't believe they're doing their best, we don't actually make plans for how best to handle the situation as it is. If you were to accept that this person is in fact, doing the best they can, how would you act differently? What would you do differently? What would open up in the relationship without this?
We're all on very unique paths in this world and sometimes, people need to make the same mistake over and over again in order to learn a specific lesson. Sometimes, people don't show up the way you'd like them to but that might be all they can manage at this time, even if you think you could or do manage more. And, sometimes, people treat you in a way that upsets you but that's the best they could manage at that moment, given their life and experiences and circumstances.
I really encourage everyone to think of a time in your life when you've been shown kindness and forgiveness from someone for something you did and think about somewhere you could pass this onto someone now.