Are you seeing through judgement or love?

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I received an email last week from the incredible Robert Holden, who is the author of my favourite book Lovability 

In the email, he discusses how we can see ourselves and others either through judgement or through love: never both. 

When we look through judgement, we see only our judgement and when we look through love, we can see beauty and love. This really resonated with me and I found myself engrossed in the idea. 

I had an experience in the gym the day after I read this email, where I found myself really judging the instructor running the class. My judgements were that he was rude, arrogant and obnoxious and this was all I could see when I looked at him. As the class went on, I found myself getting annoyed by him. 

As I read Roberts email, I realised that what I was looking at and what was annoying me was actually my own judgement of him.

Looking back on the situation now, I know that I could have chosen to see him through love. Seen him through gratitude. Gratitude that he was there at 7 am, training us all.

Gratitude that he wanted us all to do well and was pushing us to grow and not give up. 

Gratitude that he had planned this brilliant workout that made me reach my limits, sweat and leave with a huge smile on my face. I might not have spoken to people the way he did but does that make me right and him wrong? Who am I to assume I know how he's supposed to behave and talk at all times or what is on his spiritual agenda? 


The truth is, the trainer had no idea what I thought of him. The only person effected by my thoughts about him was me. I was the one judging him and moving into a place of judgement, I was the one who was getting angry and agitated, I was the one who was left running through all the ways I thought he was wrong in my head. If I had chosen to see him through love, he would not have known the difference but I would have felt the difference. I would have had a more positive experience in the class and felt lighter and more positive. 


I also started thinking of how this relates to the ways in which we think about ourselves. When we're judging we can't love. When we're judging ourselves, we're not loving ourselves and if we're not going to love ourselves, who is?  


Judgement is one of the easiest holes to fall into. It happens constantly throughout the day, whether about ourselves or others and it's often something people tell me they want to let go of. 


I encourage you all this week to try and catch yourself in judgement. Stop and take a deep breath and try and replace that judgement with something loving.

Send that person love and compassion for what they're going through which is causing them to behave in a way you don't like or try and understand why you're judging them. 


If you find yourself judging yourself, stop and say "I love you and I don't judge you for anything you do, I support you 100%" 

I hope you all see everything through LOVE 



Gabriella xxx